Babbling Bluetooth-bearing bozos
Hey you! Yeah, you. Guy eating Sunday breakfast with his wife at a coney, with a Bluetooth cell phone earpiece clipped in place. YOU.
You’re an asshole.
And you. Don’t give me that look. You’re at Red Robin with your family, but you’ve got your Bluetooth headset on. That’s it, make sure your family understands just where they rank in your life — somewhere behind any stranger who might possibly call you during dinner. You.
You’re a mega-asshole.
It’s annoying enough walking through the airport or down a busy street surrounded by Bluetoothed idiots in suits yapping to themselves like asylum escapees. A couple of people at my former office used to stay Bluetooth-connected all the time; I give one the benefit of the doubt because he was an adorable geek and I think he just liked the cyborg look. Mr. Exec who wore his through “very serious issue” one-on-one conversations with his staff? Asshole.
But outside of work hours? C’mon. If you’re in a restaurant with anyone who matters to you, take off the fucking headset. If you’re not expecting a critical phone call any second (your wife is 8.5 months pregnant, your kid is in the hospital, the cops are searching your condo), take it off. It’s like having call waiting on your life. You’re clearly showing that whomever you are engaged with at the time is not your first choice.
The vast majority of inappropriate Bluetooth headset wearers I see are men, though many women will pull out their cell phones at every opportunity. You bitches are assholes too, you’re just less obvious about it.
The ubiquitousness of personal phones has led me to loathe them. I hate hearing my cell phone ring. The idea that I should be available to take anyone’s call at any time, any where, is repulsive. So, I don’t always answer. I don’t worry about carrying it with me every minute. We don’t have a landline — it didn’t make financial sense when we were all going to have cell phones anyway — but that doesn’t mean I’m at your beck and call. Leave a message. I might call you back. More likely, I’ll drop you an e-mail. One of the things I found attractive about my husband when we were dating was that he also professed to hate phones. Granted, that didn’t stop us from the usual marathon courting calls, but the phase passed quickly.
Well-managed, politely used cell phones are excellent tools. Turn down the ringer at dinner and at the movies. If you need to take or make a call when you’re in public, walk away from people who are trying to have conversations, eat, shop, play with their kids, or simply enjoy the previous quiet. Don’t assume that because I have a cell phone, you’ll get through immediately or I’ll call you back within minutes. Oh, and take off the headset unless you’re driving or in your cubicle. Please.
